BICKERING BRIDESMAIDS? HOW TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY / by Katrine Mikkelsen

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If you’ve got more than one bridesmaid, you have the difficult task of making sure that they all feel comfortable and happy on your Big Day. I see a lot of beautiful brides coming through my doors with their bubbly and equally beautiful bridesmaids so I’ve learned a few ways to keep everyone happy.

Make Them Each Feel Special

You’ve chosen each of your bridesmaids based on their own merits as well as based on how much you value them as friends so rather than making into an amorphous collective called ‘The Bridesmaids’, so show them how much they each mean to you by celebrating their individuality. Little things like designating tasks to them, maybe a reading during your service, arranging favours, making sure everyone has confetti or making sure everyone always has a drink will make them feel special. If you are going to do this then do make sure that you delegate the tasks equally between them so that no one feels left out or that someone is getting preferential treatment over anyone else.

Outstanding Outfits

This can be such a difficult area. As much as the accepted bridesmaids’ etiquette is that the bridesmaids wear exactly what they are told to, that doesn’t always happen. Aside from the fact that if you were to demand this obedience you might be opening up a very unpleasant can of worms, you might even have an almighty argument, you presumably want your bridesmaids to feel happy and comfortable on your Big Day. Before you start looking at dresses, you need to decide what sort of wedding you are having. Are all of your bridesmaids going to wear matching dresses? Or are they going to wear dresses which complement each other and are in the same colour? It depends how formal/traditional your wedding is. This is, however, a fabulous, creative and bold new look for bridesmaids which looks beautiful when done well. If you are going to put your bridesmaids in the same dress, you need to be aware that it can take awhile to choose a dress that they all like and that flatters them all.

Give Your Bridesmaids Freedom

If you are a very relaxed bride then you could show your bridesmaids a few examples of dresses you like to give them an idea of the style and colour and then let them come to you with their ideas for their dresses. This is a particularly lovely idea if you are hoping your bridesmaids will be able to wear the dresses again and if you are making their dresses part of their present (and therefore you’re allowing a larger budget for the item!).

Get Them All Together

If you have a large number of bridesmaids then it is possible that some of them have never met or have only met a handful of times. As soon as you’ve decided who your bridesmaids are starting getting them together so that by the time the Big Day (not to mention your Hen Do!) comes there’ll be a real camaraderie between you. If you’re on a tight budget and you’re worried about the extra expense that this will cause then keep the price down by planning some girlie nights in. Think classic Rom-Coms, facemasks and pedicures over a few glasses of Prosecco with some nibbles. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just get everyone chatting!

Keep the Bridezilla Moments to a Minimum

I know that every bride has at least a couple of meltdowns whilst planning their wedding. It’s a very emotional time and there’s a lot of pressure on you from all sorts

of directions but try to keep any emotional explosions to a minimum in front of your maids. You don’t want their everlasting memories of the run up to your wedding to be of mopping up your teary mess or of trying to calm you down.

Remember, It’s NOT All About Your Wedding 100% Of The Time

On the subject of bridal melodramatics, do try to remember that it’s NOT all about your wedding 100% of the time. Your bridesmaids (and even you!) have lives outside of wedding planning. Try not to monopolise the conversation with talk of your wedding planning, don’t forget to ask about how they are and what they’ve been doing. It’s hard to resist talking about your wedding at every opportunity, I know. For one thing, it’s nice to have a second opinion and two; you’re just so excited about getting married! But remember that your bridesmaids are busy people with things to do and places to go as well.

Say Thank You

This is the most important thing to remember. Of course, you can say a big thank you on the day (particularly meaningful if you give a speech yourself) but remember to say it as you go! Your bridesmaids are doing their very best to make sure that you have the day of your dreams and that takes time, thought and consideration on their part so make sure you tell them ‘Thank you!’ at every opportunity.

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